HOW TO LIE TO UR WIFE

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes.
He walks down to the store and finds it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine.
At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.
They have a couple of beers and both were busy talking to each other & went for a ride.
After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?"
She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and went for a ride with her."
"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You God damn liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!"

Moral of the story : Always tell your wife the truth. She won't believe you anyway.

NEVER BELIEVE A GIRL

HOW TO EASILY SQUARE A NUMBER ENDING WITH 5

If u want to square any 2 digit number ending with 5, u can do it just follow these steps1.Mulitply the first digit by itself + 1, and put 25 on the end. That is all u have to do
(25)^2 = (2x(2+1)) & 25
2 x 3 = 6
625

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THINGS MADE FROM TOOTHPICKS

HOW TO EASILY DIVIDE A NUMBER BY 5

having problem in dividing a large number with 5 then follow this steps
Dividing a large number by five is actually very simple. All you do is multiply the numbar by 2 and move the decimal point
105 / 5
1-->: 105 * 2 = 2102-->: Move the decimal: 21.0 or just 21
2978 / 5
1-->: 2978 * 2 = 59562-->: 595.6

FACTS

1.TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard
2.The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
3.Butterflies taste with their feet.
4Starfish don't have brains
5.The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache
6. A snail can sleep for three years.

TRICK TO SLEEP IN OFFICE

what womens do after accident

WANT TO KNOW WHAT WOMENS DO
AFTER AN ACCIDENT ...........................

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CALL FOR HELP

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CALL POLICE NO..
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CRY NO.
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THEY DO THIS

DONT FORGET TO LEAVE UR COMMENTS.....................

HOW TO TELL UR BOSS TO INCREASE UR SALARY

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.
I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon
Your$ $incerely
Norman $oh
!!!!!!!!!!!!............ !!!!!!!!!............... !!!!!!!!! ...........!!!.......................

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply
Dear NOrman
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean
Yours truly
Manager

Maths Magic

:
111 / (1+1+1)=37
222 / (2+2+2)=37
333 / (3+3+3)=37
444 / (4+4+4)=37
555 / (5+5+5)=37
666 / (6+6+6)=37
777 / (7+7+7)=37
888 / (8+8+8)=37

THINGS U SEE ONLY IN INDIA............

(JISKO AANA HAI AAJO BAHUT JAGHA KHALI HAI)



(COMPUTER LELO COMPUTER...........)




(BETA MAI SHAVING NAHI KARTA HU)




(SAB ULTA KYU DIKH RAHA HAI)

READ IT

A Sardarji was in Delhi. He was walking on a street which had a Clock Tower when someone asked him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."Sardarji gave him moneyThe man took the money and disappeared. Having waited for several hours but the man dint came back
On the next day the Sardarji was again walking along the same street and the same man asked him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder".
ha...ha.....haa.......(hai na akalmandi wali baat)

LAUGH

When tears flow in your eyes... When things go wrong,When sadness fills your heart,When tears flow in your eyes, Just let me know,

Because, I want to be there for you,

BECAUSE!!!!


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. My uncle is Selling Tissue PaperBuy 1, Get 1 Free........................

DONT COPY IF U CANT PASTE

ONCE A MINISTER WHILE GIVING SPEECH SAID ' The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!' The crowd got shocked. He followed up by saying, 'That woman was my mother!' The crowd burst into laughter About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the speech decided to use the same joke in his speech he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, 'The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!' after that he forgot the second line of the joke After standing there for almost 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, he said '...and I can't remember who she was!'
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!

STICK PUZZLE

U JUST HAVE TO MOVE 4 STICKS TO MAKE 3 equilateral TRINGLES

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THE ANSWER IS

PUZZLE

HOW CAN U CREATE A PLUS '+' SIGN USING THIS BLOCKS









































THINK ............



















THINK......................

































DINT GET THE ANS ................




















OK THE SOLUTION IS







ISNT IT COOL

PLZ LEAVE UR COMMENTS

TITANIC MOVIE BY INDIAN

If the Titanic (MOVIE ) was made by an indian
The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"
There would be 10 times as many people on the ship
There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain
Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip
The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson
None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.
And last but not least
Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC
and of cource hero would not die

MATHS FUN

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

this trophy is made up of beer cans it is In Bangkok, the capital of Thailand, on the square next to the largest trading centre of the city have established a huge model of the League Cup champions, compiled from 5000 beer cans.

maths fun

(HOW TO QUICKLY MULTIPLY A NUMBER BY 4)
To quickly multiply A NUMBER by four, double the number and then double it again. so easy

(HOW TO QUICKLY MULTIPLY NUMBER BY 5)
To quickly multiplya number by 5, divide the number by 2 (i.e tAKE HALF OF NUMBER ) and then multiply it by 10.


plz leave ur commemts

THINK B4 U LIE TO UR MOM

NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOM

A Mom comes to visit her son RAJ for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate NITA. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty RAJ's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between RAJ and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, RAJ volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, NITA and I are just roommates." About a week later, NITA came! to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" RAJ said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, jjust to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, RAJ
Several days later, RAJ received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with NITA, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with NITA. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian ! (KYA SOCH RAHE HO)

LIFE WITHOUT GIRLFRIEND

Reasons why LIFE without a Girl Friend is cool
1. You can stare at any Girl.......
2. You don't have to spend money on her.
3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.
4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.
6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.
8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.
9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.
10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.
11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.
12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.
13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.
14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.
15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.
16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend with ur folks. 1
17. No nonstop nonsense. '
18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
19. No tension.
20. You can be "urself"
21. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.....

facts

1
-->Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
2
--> Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

3
-->The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.

4
--> It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic & 200 million to make a film about it.

read it fast if u can

1.
Does your shirt shop stock
Short socks with spots.

2.
Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.

3.
One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One day One-one won one race.
And Two-two won one too.

gone r the days

special thanks to my friend HARSHIL SANGVAI for this

Take time to read it patiently, feeling each line, its amazing......ENJOY YOURSELF Gone are the days……When the school reopened in June,And we settled in our new desks and benches.When we queued up in book depot,And got our new books and notes.When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yetManaged to line up daily for the morning prayers.We learnt writing with slates and pencils, andProgressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then micro tips.We began drawing with crayons and evolved toColor pencils and finally sketch pens.We started calculating first with tables and then withLog tables and advanced to calculators and computers.When we chased one another in the corridors inIntervals, and returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat.When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle shed.When all the colors in the world,Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays.When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons.When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,And Neckties and socks rolled into balls.When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,While others simply played "book cricket" in the confines of classroom.Of fights but no conspiracies,Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.When few rushed at 1:45 to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus.While few others had "Big Fun", "Chock-o-bar","kulfi ice" and "Pepsi"at2:00 Clock.Gone are the days Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day,And the one-month long preparations for them.Gone are the days Of the stressful Quarterly,Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most enjoyed holidays after them.Of tenth and twelfth standards, when we Spent almost the whole yearwritingrevision tests.We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost,We laughed, we cried, we fought, we thought.With so much fun in them, so many friends,So much experience, all this and more.Gone are the days when we used to talk for hours with our friends.Now we don't have time to say a HI.Gone are the days when we played games on the road.Now we code on the road with laptop.Gone are the days when we saw stars shining at night.Now we see stars when our code doesn't work.Gone are the days when we sat to chat with friends on grounds.Now we chat in chat rooms.....Gone are the days where we studied just to pass.Now we study to save our jobGone are the days where we had no money in our pocketsand fun filled on our heartsNow we have the ATM as well as credit card but with an empty heartGone are the days where we shouted on the road.Now we don t shout even at homeGone are the days where we got lectures from all.Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....Gone are the daysBut not the memories, which will beLingering in our hearts for ever and ever and Ever and ever andEver.....NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE,DON'T FORGET TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS.IT WONT BE THERE FOR EVERhave A nICe DaYKeEP smILIng

FUNNY QUOTES

1.I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
--> Patrick Murray

2.Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
--> Unknown

3.Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
--> Will Rogers

4.Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
--> Leslie Nielsen
5.Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money!)
--> Unknown

ha ha ha

Once a teacher asked all students to write an essay on topic "A Poor Family". One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay.. The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as.....She wrote:Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband & wife dono gareeb they, dono ka 1 beta tha, woh bhi bahut gareeb tha!!Ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver, aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they. Ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, mercedeez car thi, unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha, aur uppar se ghar mein 1 saal se paint nahi hua tha!!Family ko holiday ke liye foregin country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they, Ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they!!!All in all, bahut hi gareeb family thi!!

READ IT FAST

If two witches would watch two watches
Which witch would watch which watch?


Red lorry, yellow lorry Red lorry, yellow lorry Red lorry, yellow lorry

MATHS

MAGIC OF MATHS
8 1 6
3 5 7
4 9 2
IF U ADD all rows, columns and diagonals sum to 15.
If you read the rows as NUMBERS, forwards and backwards, and square them, then
8162 + 3572 + 4922 = 6182 + 7532 + 2942. Magic?
(TRY IT )

FACTS

FACTS
1.Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death.
2.TRY IT
Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.
3. HAVE U EVER OBSERVED IT
If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.

hi

hi